amBITCHous by Debra Condren

Author:Debra Condren
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780767926331
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2008-10-25T00:00:00+00:00

“No Can Do”

Scenario: someone asks to take you out for breakfast or drinks to pick your brain. Pretend that you say this: “I’d be happy to consult with you if you’d like to set up an appointment. My fee is two hundred and fifty dollars per hour.” How do you imagine yourself feeling? Do you feel like a heartless bitch? One woman I recently interviewed asked, “Isn’t it greedy of me to charge someone rather than to cheerfully offer to mentor them?” My answer: “Why is it you who are being greedy, rather than the person who is trying to hog your precious time and energy—and all for free?” She had never thought of it that way.

Same scenario: this time you say, “My plate is full, so I don’t do outside consultations.” What if you say no? How does that make you feel? Stingy? Irresponsible to someone who’s earnestly trying to learn? Do you feel you have to explain yourself? Do you imagine yourself immediately feeling self-imposed pressure to reconsider (“Well, maybe next month I’ll have more time…”)?

Same scenario: this time you’ve agreed to something that you didn’t want to do. How do you feel? Do you immediately feel like kicking yourself? Beating yourself up? (“Why, oh why, did I say yes? I’m swamped at work already, I have no time for my husband or friends as it is, I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t get backed into a corner like this again, and I did it anyway. I’m so stupid! Damn it!”).

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